Tuesday, November 25, 2008

89th post...

Hi all!!! finally i blogged... Just finished most of my papers... left 1 paper on thurs... tt one kinda no need to study de paper la.. yups...

Recently nv blog.. i went thru lots of ups and downs in life.. i think.. i grew up in thinking 4 years in 4 mths... yeah... hmmz... This year... i guess.. its the only year for very very long time that i don have a special someone to celebrate my coming birthday and Xmas with me ba... its going december now... its holiday! but.... 1st time.. i felt no excitement in holidays.. only sianz... boredom... i just feel that i could cope myself at home this whole mth n rot... and maybe think about stuff in life... realise that i am gonna be 24 in a few days time.. realise that i need to have my own thoughts.. my own dream... my own direction.. i guess its a part n parcel thing for every student that i gonna graduate... but yeah.. i need to be alone n do lotsa thinking... i went pass the stage of youth that i tot "hei, as long as i try my best, everything is achievable"... now reaching the stage that "life is full of wu nai, u juz have to live with it.. somethings... are juz not meant to be".....

The same thing i realise is... for every man existence... we don juz live for ourselves... we live for a cause... we live for the pple ard us... we live to serve a purpose.. and the purpose is? for me.. its to live a happy life.. is to let pple ard me be happy too!! sounds easy eh.. but it really hard... not easily achievable...

Ever heard of the phrase "If u tried your best, the results doesn't matter.. u will have no regrets"..... recently... i had this cause in life... this cause that i really wanted to make it happen.. even willing to trade years of my life.. or rather everything i could to make it work.... i seriously give my all... Til the point that i am obsessed.. I am crazy over it... In the end... the cause didn't work out... Sad yes! very very sad! but did i tried my best? i did... i did everything i possibly could.... every single bit of my energy.. my financial capability... my time... my effort.. my love...... I hold nth back... so i rem the above phrase... i tried my best... results doesn't matter... no regret... easier said den done... but a very very true phrase indeed... trying to achieve tt....

Oh... Have u all ever wondered.... if u walk up to an artiste and tell him/her that u like his show... how would he think? u would probably think that he wouldn't even rem u ba.. but.... recently.. a hawker auntie said to me "hei, u r tt actor right, long time nv see ur show leh, tot ur show not bad.. looking forward to your next one!" Honestly.. tt instance touched me... its probably a casual remark but hei! i realise that my work actually make a certain someone in this country a happier person? or rather plays a part in making a person having some entertaiment? it really made my day! and thou i heard some comments on how the mediacorp produce "rubbish" shows.. i wanted to stand up and say "hei! we r actually entertaining pple u know? we have a purpose and we serve it! yes we don have millions of budget to produce very very high quality show to compare wif overseas, but we have a job here to entertain the locals and i believe its the effort of many pple to make it work and we did it!" it is actually very hurting to hear that something that u put in so much effort to do being brush off as "rubbish"...

And here is another realisation.. and that the word "cherish"... alot of pple took alot of things ard us for granted... for eg.. if ur parents/grandparents wash/fold your clothes for u... have u ever stopped and wonder its actually a very nice act? or u know.. whoever besides u.. who do nice things for u... did u think u r cherishing it enough? cos pple always cherish after losing something.. if a stranger does it for u.. u will feel ps n feel that the stranger is super gd... but when it comes to someone close.. its natural that u took it for granted.. so in the end.. the gratitude to tt stranger who does it once is much more den someone close to u who does it everyday... isn't tt weird? i hereby asked everyone to think bout it and show some gratitude to the pple ard u... i myself is in this learning ladder of cherish.. i wan to cherish everything i have... sometimes what u wanted is actually what u have and not what u are frantically chasing after yarh? don fall into the "grass is greener on the other side" trap?

Recently i was riding at expressway.. i realise that the flowers/plantations along the roads are actually very nice! when i reach home, i realise my living environment is actually filled wif flowers and trees and becos they are like at my house downstairs. i nv actually look at them... i took effort to look and appreciate them n realise that they are actually very nice! haha.... took some photos of the sunset and rainbow... its such a nice world.... shall upload them tml k?

Oh.. suddenly tot of.. any fans out there wanna celebrate my bday? maybe we can get a mini gathering too ( like jx )... will start thinking of the idea if got more den like 20? shall see response on tag... haha...

The song uploaded! very nice! very apt.. lyrics below...
回家的路总是很远
话少得很可怜
一个人的晚餐
都是孤单的滋味
看见身边重复上演
属于我们的画面
选择逃避的眼
怎么还是会流泪
爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为
我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天
快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了
还能用什么感觉

我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走

Monday, November 10, 2008

88th post!

just some photos
(beijing trip)





87th post!

hi all!!! happy to be here n say... i am really grateful for all my faithful fans or pple who r regularly concern bout me to check back my blog despite not updating for like ten thousand years! ok!!!! actually... think also quite paisei to update la.. cos.... got nth entertaining to share... I am taking many modules this semester... so..... can't do any dramas... den i think next sem... From my current knowledge now... Timing clashes... so....... sad but true... i will not be acting from now til next may... so if luckily i get to start acting in june/july.. the fastest i will be on screen again is 09 year end.. which i think is a super long time from now... ard 1 year? and from my last drama.. it will be slightly more den 20mths... scary yeah? but also.... thou i know some of my supporters will not forget me... but did in fact know tt i will be pretty much forgotten by majority? but its ok! getting a fresh start might be gd... looking forward... someone ard me recently took a very huge step to try in this industry... a huge risk... which evoke my acting passion as well! really cherish wat i had n wanna be able to do well n act well n hopefully silent some critics... honestly v thankful for all the concern n interest in my life....

*chengxi bow*